Jut for fun - Bob Hope

Bob Hope’s self-deprecating humour was one of his most endearing qualities and one of the basics of his success. Here is a little of it, just to make you smile ...

ON TURNING 70: 'You still chase women, but only downhill.'
ON TURNING 80: 'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'
ON TURNING 90: 'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100: 'I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'
ON HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING: 'I ruined my hands in the ring...the referee kept stepping on them.'
ON SAILORS: 'They spend the first six days of each week sowing their wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure.'
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR: 'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'.'
ON GOLF: 'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'
ON PRESIDENTS: 'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained six.'
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL: 'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY: 'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS: 'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES: ' I wouldn't have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN: 'I've done benefits for ALL the religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'

This item comes from the Pivotal Just for Fun Pages